May 12
Here I am writing a blog about why / how I believe that individuals who react more than others are more ‘in-control’ of who they are, and more mentally and physically organized — from the perspective that they are more effective in their world / reality. I see, realize, and understand that I connected the physical form, movement, …
May 01
Here I am continuing with how I have discriminated against my own race starting with how I defined the word ’troublemaker’, and lived it — as a reaction in my world / reality. So the word ‘troublemaker’, I connected to the word ‘gay-basher’, and so when and as I would see other boys trying to be ‘cool’ or …
Apr 30
Here in this blog, I am writing about how I, at several times in my life, discriminated against my own race. Now this is due to various memories that I had in relation to how / why I would discriminate against my own race. Some of these memories are: 1) In between grades 2 and 3, I was …
Apr 27
Here I am writing a blog about protecting my desires through trying to justify my relationship to the information that I share to others that I believe is ‘right’. And so with me trying to validate that I am ‘right’ within whatever information that I share, within this, I am protecting my own desires within me. As this point …
Apr 26
When and as I hear the word self-forgiveness, I connect it to ‘guilt’. So here I’d like to redefine the word self-forgiveness through covering all of the dimensions so I can stand clear of the word self-forgiveness. In this, I will speak about an experience, but speak about it, and direct it within self-forgiveness statements. Back-Chat Dimension: I see, realize, and understand that …
Apr 24
Here, I am continuing with how / why I feel like a man when touched in a particular moment / experience, wherein I limited that experience based on my own ‘feelings’. Here is the self-forgiveness for the 2nd point from the initial post: Self-Forgiveness #2Projecting an energy-experience on to the female’s form that I was with, and …
Apr 23
Here I am writing a blog about my experience with touch. When and as a female is touching me, based on the type of relationship that I have with her, I would go into either a reaction of a positive, or a negative energy-experience within me of feeling like a ‘man’ that is experiencing the female as a ‘female’ based …
Apr 22
Here I am writing a blog about the mother / son relationship. I see, realize, and understand that my relationship to my mother is constantly validated within calling my mother ‘Mother’. This creates the illusion of ‘closeness’ to my mother because the word mother has been charged with different types of thoughts, imaginations, back-chats, etc. such as seeing oneself as a child in relation …
Apr 21
Here in this blog, I am continuing with the negative physical / behavior dimensions of the blog “That Sugary Feeling.” Negative Dimensions External Changes I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the design of / as the ‘fear of survival’ as ‘form’, as ‘taste’ — wherein I desire to …
Apr 20
Here I am writing a blog about my resistance to being touched. What are some of the words that I connected to the word ‘touch’? I see, realize, and understand that one of the words that I connected to the word ‘touch’ is the word ‘invasion’ as if someone is invading my ‘independency’. It’s been like that all …
Apr 18
Here I am writing a blog about April 18th — as the day that I was originally born. When I have a look at my birthday, I ask myself the question, “Why is it that I liked to celebrate my birthdays during my younger years — from the perspective of creating ‘expectations’ for birthday gifts, and desiring to …
Apr 12
Today I had fried fish with some shrimp, french fries, and hush-puppies. I had a thought that my body wanted to eat this, and so I went to buy it. So basically, I was trying to ‘match’ what I thought that my body wanted to eat. Later on, I had a heavy feeling in my …
Apr 11
This entry is part 1 of 1 in the series My Relationship to the Color Pink On April 5th 2013 at approximately 10:30 PM, I bought a pink shirt. My external thought was that since my other pink shirt is getting small, I’d buy another one, but the actual underlying thought, as the actual back-chat …
Apr 08
Here I am having a look at what is ‘best for all’ from the perspective of when one person has a friction / conflict about a particular point…. in other words, if that person is coming from a perspective of having a look at a particular point self-honestly, but finding the point to not be …
Mar 30
This entry is part 1 of 1 in the series Sorry Miss Jackson Today I was having a look at the word ‘miss‘ — from the perspective of the negative energy-experience that is created when and as I am ‘missing’ someone because of their absence. I see, realize, and understand that the point of ‘missing …
Mar 28
This entry is part 7 of 6 in the series 21 Days of BreathingHere I am writing a blog about a realization that I had in Day 13 when and as communicating with my agreement partner. I see, realize, and understand that most of the friction and conflict that is created within me to / towards my agreement partner stems from me ‘talking over’ …
Mar 27
This entry is part 5 of 6 in the series 21 Days of BreathingI see, realize, and understand that when and as I am trying to ‘validate’ my relationship to ‘pictures’ through as looking at particular pictures — that I am still in-fact defining myself based on that particular pictured-presentation. In this, I am talking about ‘attraction’ …
Mar 26
This entry is part 6 of 6 in the series 21 Days of BreathingHere I am writing a blog about day 11 of the 21 days of breathing. Within this process, I see that when and as I progress through the days that the process of stabilizing myself, as breath, has been more difficult — based on me …
Mar 19
This entry is part 4 of 6 in the series 21 Days of BreathingWhen and as going throughout my day, I accepted and allowed myself to discipline myself, but more from the perspective of holding on to a property of my imagination of which I separated that part of me within myself, and allowed that point to direct me …
Mar 16
This entry is part 3 of 6 in the series 21 Days of BreathingToday, I did not accept and allow myself to stand with and as my breathing consistently based on the excuse that I was ‘moving too much’ throughout my day. In other words, I made the excuse that I was ‘busy’. There was a particular moment wherein …
Mar 10
I see, realize, and understand that I formed / created a ‘relationship’ to each word that I ‘speak’. Therefore, each word that I speak has a charge it. If you have a listen to Kryon: My Existential History Part 9, you will see, realize, and understand that emotions and feelings are made out of frequency, …
Mar 09
I see, realize, and understand that I formed / created a ‘relationship’ to each word that I ‘speak’. Therefore, each word that I speak has a charge it. If you have a listen to Kryon: My Existential History Part 9, you will see, realize, and understand that emotions and feelings are made out of frequency, magnetics …
Mar 08
Over the past couple of days I accepted and allowed myself to participate in energy-experiences, which basically means that I either reacted negatively or positively to / towards something or someone. What is, in fact, energy? Energy is basically the dynamics, velocity, and the movement of energy as emotions and feelings wherein depending on the …
Mar 05
On March 5th 2013, I was looking at the dynamics of energy-experience, and how, when and as I have a reaction that is coming up from within myself — it would be me validating a particular energy-experience (an experience of an emotion or feeling) within me — in separation….. meaning that I create a ‘relationship’ …
Mar 03
I decided to go to the store on March 3rd 2013, and made a decision to stabilize myself based on the point that when and as I am in a place with a lot of people, I see, realize, and understand that my eyes tend to constantly scan people based on their pictured -presentation to see how …
Feb 28
This entry is part 4 of 5 in the series That Sugary FeelingI see, realize, and understand that how I direct myself is according to external stimuli which thus creates how I move, behave, and react in this world / reality without giving consideration to my ‘relationship’ with the external world / reality. I within this, do …
Feb 27
This entry is part 3 of 5 in the series That Sugary FeelingImagination Energy-Relationship Self-Commitments to the Positive Image / Memory Outflows: I see, realize, and understand that when and as I have a desire to do something that I ‘normally’ do within my life, or when and as I have a resistance of not wanting to NOT do it, then the …
Feb 26
This entry is part 5 of 5 in the series That Sugary FeelingImagination Energy-Relationship Self-Forgiveness: Positive Imagination Play-outs: Imagination Dimension Self-Forgiveness: I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine going into Which Wich, and buying two chocolate-chip cookies to satisfy my desire. Energy-Relationship: I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand …
Feb 12
This entry is part 2 of 5 in the series That Sugary FeelingFear Dimension: I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what it would be like if I am not able to generate that specific energy-experience that I get from eating chocolate-chip cookies. I see, realize, and understand that when and as I …
Feb 05
Here I am writing a blog about music. When and as growing up, I would always have this music playing in my head, and this music, within my mind, evolved ever since — as I still have music playing in my head. I didn’t see it as anything harmless, but after watching the video titled: Why Music …
Jan 31
This entry is part 6 of 6 in the series Captivated by SheenaReaction Dimension:Fear Dimension Energy-Relationship Self-Commitment: I see, realize, and understand that when I want to ‘feel normal’ when and as I am around someone (within the same vicinity) — I spent a lot of time ‘checking them out’ with my eyes because what …
Jan 30
Here, I am writing a blog about about communicating, and simply — when and as I do things in general, how I miss myself in plain view because I see, realize, and understand that it is the small things that count, and thus, every physical movement is a ‘counting process’ wherein if I am not …
Jan 29
This entry is part 5 of 6 in the series Captivated by SheenaImagination Dimension: I see, realize, and understand that when and as I want to ‘prove’ myself to someone, that I am trying to ‘prove’ myself to the mind because of forming / creating a polarity relationship to the mind as believing that I am ‘less than’ the mind. I see, …
Jan 28
This entry is part 4 of 6 in the series Captivated by SheenaFear Dimension Self-Commitment: I see, realize, and understand that the fear of ‘slacking’ as a ‘black’ man — from the perspective of not knowing how to ‘please a female effectively all circles around color, shape and texture, and how I created a relationship to different colors, shapes and …
Jan 27
Here I am writing a blog about desire. I see, realize, and understand that when and as I was writing another blog, how desire is in-fact a friction and conflict-relationship with self based on memories as thoughts, and imaginations — that turn into back-chat and reactions of emotions and feelings. And so when and as I have a …
Jan 26
This entry is part 3 of 6 in the series Captivated by SheenaPhysical / Behavior DimensionNegative Dimension Internal-Changes: I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when and as seeing ’Jac’, I immediately went into an internal personality / behavior change, and an internal experience of a ‘cringe’ between my stomach and my chest because I …
Jan 25
This entry is part 2 of 6 in the series Captivated by SheenaReaction Dimension:Fear Dimension Energy-Relationship Self-Forgiveness: I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to — in my life constantly and continuously yearn to be in a relationship with a female so that I can feel ‘accepted’ and feel ‘normal’ — as I defined a part …
Jan 24
This entry is part 1 of 6 in the series Captivated by SheenaThrough growing up, I created personality systems within me that I became when and as coming into contact with different types of males and females based on their looks. In the 6th grade, I became aware of a categorization process that I started …
Jan 21
Here I am doing a blog because I see, realize, and understand how I move with the mind as the mind – as in participating in the mind rather than directing me in every moment of breath. And these moments wherein I am participating in the mind, I am aware of, but do not ‘move’ myself to direct myself equal-to and …
Jan 16
This entry is part 1 of 2 in the series English IvyHere, I am writing a blog about my back-chat to / towards a friend of mine that called me on 1/16/2013. I see, realize and understand that over the years, I’ve had a desire to be in a relationship with her, but when and as she called me, …
Jan 15
Here I am doing a blog in relation to my process, and location. I was writing a blog the other day that is part of my 7 Year Journey to Life blog, but I was actually working on my second blog for that day for the next day because of the time-constraint being that I wouldn’t …
Jan 14
Here I am doing a blog based on me I seeing, realizing, and understanding that when and as I am in the cold weather, there is a negative-energy experience that I experience within myself. It’s sort of like an ‘anger’ that arises in which I create a back-chat within me of “I need to get …
Jan 09
This is a continuation of the blog Using Hospitality to Hold Onto Friends & Family 1.1 Back-chat Energy-Relationship Self-Forgiveness: I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to mold / shape my ‘water’ within and as my physical body to the mind – instead of purifying my ‘water’ to that which is ‘best for all’ wherein I support …
Jan 08
Here I am doing a blog based on a realization of a fear that I still hold on to, and this fear is the fear of losing my family based on wanting to assist and support another to see their family member. A person had asked me to switch schedules with them for a day at work …
Jan 06
Here in this blog, I am writing about my fear of being called out. I see, realize, and understand that there is this ‘standing’ that I like to exist in, and it’s this standing / position of believing that in my process of establishing myself as the directive principle of my mind, I tend to believe that when and …
Jan 05
Here in this blog, I am writing about a communication point wherein my agreement partner informed me to “get the guacamole” — because we were talking about what we should eat tonight which required guacamole. So after work, I got the guacamole, but when and as I came home, I had a disagreement with my agreement partner based on the point …
Dec 28
Here, I am writing a blog because on December 27th 2012, I had a desire to hang out with my step-father and play video games. But what is really the desire that I’m looking at here? Because I can say that there is an ‘energy-experience’ behind it meaning that when and as I go over …
Dec 27
Here I am doing a blog because I see, realize, and understand at times when and as I hear my agreement partner saying something that is ‘truthful’ / self-honest, I go into a ‘reaction mode’, and form / create a back-chat within me — especially when we’re writing blogs because of the fear that she might give me some feedback about my writings, …
Dec 26
Here I am doing a blog about the ‘taking risks’ personality, and my attraction to it. Now there are several dimensions in this, but I will start with one of the dimensions which is the facial expression of a person that likes takes risks. Now if I describe the facial expression of a person that likes to …
Dec 25
Today, me and my agreement partner were preparing a pork shoulder roast for a Christmas get-together. The pork was already done, and the broth of the pork was settling under the pork. My agreement partner wanted to make the broth out of a gravy, but I resisted this idea because I figured that it was better to …
Dec 24
Here I am doing a blog about how the mind forms ‘logic’ and then thus becomes ‘locked’ within that ‘logic’. And when and as that ‘logic’ is ‘challenged’ / ‘tested’, self begins to react to the particular-specific words that are being conveyed through another — as self does not see, realize, and understand that when self reacts …
Dec 21
Reaction and Physical / Behavior Dimensions: I see, realize, and understand that when and as I create a ‘reaction’ within me, then I am not here with my physical body, but existing in a friction / conflict relationship, of which I separate myself from the ‘here’ moment to a past, present, and future – of which I fuel the …
Dec 20
Here, I am continuing with some self-commitment statements: Thought Dimension: I commit myself to de-value my birthday through a process of self-forgiveness – forgiving myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a ‘value’ to my birthday. And so thus, it is to investigate for oneself the meaning of birthdays and the values that self gives to birthdays — to see, …
Dec 18
I see, realize, and understand that I created a ‘value’ to my birthday because I decided to have my vacation around my birthday. You know the interesting thing is that doomsday (December 21st, 2012) is judged the same way? If we have a look at the word ‘value’, it is the quality (positive or negative) that renders something desirable …
Dec 16
I see, realize, and understand how I accept and allow myself to become preoccupied within / as my mind if I do not remain constant and stable within and as my awareness of who / where I am in any given moment. Therefore in this blog, I want to do self-forgiveness for accepting and allowed myself to be / become enslaved by my …
Dec 11
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear getting sick because of not knowing, in specific, what the sauce of the cheese Enchiladas is at a restaurant, and so within that, fear the mushy texture of the cheese that was covered in the sauce — believing that because the particular cheese was smothered with the sauce, that …
Dec 09
Here I am doing self-forgiveness about my relationship with cooked food compared to raw food. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I know what my body wants — instead of realizing that if I am not able to assess my physical body’s condition — from the perspective of being able to feel each and every part, …
Dec 02
This entry is part 18 of 18 in the series Fear of Being a Man Thus, within this initial experience of seeing this man physically abuse this female as a point to try to get her to agree to his ‘proposal’, in addition to observing females’ eye-movements, and judging their eye-movements to/towards me as a …
Nov 28
In this blog, I am doing self-forgiveness for wanting to have a vacation near / around my birthday – seeing my birthday as ‘more than’. Even though I wasn’t planning on doing much on my birthday, I still specialized my birthday because of the day within the month that my birthday lies on, and the age that I will …
Nov 27
Here I am doing self-forgiveness for perceiving a cookie sweetened with sugar is ‘less than’ a cookie sweetened with agave. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that a cookie sweetened with sugar is ‘less than’ a cookie sweetened with agave because of my knowledge-and-information awareness of what sugar does to the physical body. Within this, I …
Nov 26
In this blog, I will do self-forgiveness for creating a character / personality of self-direction rather than being self-directive ‘here’. I was at the store, and I was thinking about how the mind awareness is limited to a ‘consciousness’ awareness — that if who we are, as the mind, only exist in 1 percent awareness of / as ourselves, that means that …
Nov 25
Here I am doing a redefinition of the word ‘me’ because I see, realize, and understand that, in my world and reality, I molded and shaped who I am according to a mind-awareness to the word ‘me’. When and as I look at the redefinition of the word ‘Life’, as the ‘force’ that is me, this ‘me’ …
Nov 23
Here I am doing a redefinition of the word ‘medicine’ because I see, realize, and understand that, in my world and reality, I molded and shaped who I am according to a mind-awareness of and as the word ‘medicine’. When and as I come across females that are attractive, this is one of the words that come up from …
Nov 19
Here in this blog, I am doing self-forgiveness for the experience of feeling good. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust the ‘feelings’ that I feel regardless of whether they ‘feel good’ or not because I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that if ‘bad’ or ‘good’ feelings come up spontaneously …
Nov 18
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that intelligent people have figure-8 shapes based on the premise of ‘discipline’ — as I see a female with a figure-8 shape as disciplining herself to get to that particular shape. Thus, within this, I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to ask …
Nov 13
Here in this blog, I talk about my relationship with the figure-8 shape, and how I separated myself from the figure-8 shape into and as a judgment about it. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to — when and as seeing a female that has a figure-8 shape — connect her to being ‘intelligent’ — as I have judged a female with a figure-8 …
Nov 10
Here I am doing self-forgiveness for reacting when and as I was faced with self-forgiveness: I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to — when and as I was cutting up a butternut squash on a cutting board on November 10th 2012, react — when and as seeing and hearing my agreement partner doing self-forgiveness. I forgive myself that I have accepted …
Nov 08
Here I am doing self-commitments for seeing massage / massaging as something that I see as ‘less than’ / ‘inferior’ to / as who I am. I see, realize, and understand that I connected the physical act of massaging to and as particular-specific relationships within my mind of and as being submissive to a female’s emotional and feeling volatility that I defined as ‘weak’ because …
Nov 06
I was listening to the Quantum Mind interviews and I realized, through listening to them — how important it is to stabilize yourself with breathing. By simply being aware of the breath, one is directing oneself out of the mind of thoughts, feelings, and emotions — into the physical because what happens is that when and as one participate …
Nov 05
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to — on my way home on November 5th 2012, I realized that when and as I was backing up, I hit a car. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ask myself the question, “What was in-fact going on within …
Oct 31
Here, I am continuing with the processes of ‘intelligence’ and memory and how they relate to each other — creating our awareness as the mind in and through ‘intelligence’ – abdicating awareness through and as ‘physical equality and oneness’ for the limited awareness as ‘intelligence’. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a desire for ‘intelligence’ when and as I …
Oct 30
I was listening to the Quantum Mind Self-Awareness interview part 20, and it basically talked about the dynamics of awareness. So when and as listening to this interview I seen, realized, and understood that, who we are, is not aware, in any way whatsoever — of the information that is available to us within this physical …
Oct 20
This entry is part 16 of 18 in the series Fear of Being a Man This point initially came from the past when and as I was sitting in a room, and saw a man who was physically abusing a female, and asking her to marry him. The man’s hand took her by the shirt …
Oct 19
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify who I am in / as ‘reactions’ within communication — using communication to convey knowledgeand information externally, but not seeing, realizing, and understanding that what is actually being communicated is not the knowledge and information point, but the reactions within the communication that …
Oct 15
I see, realize, and understand that that which I define into / as myself becomes a living manifestation in this world as a whole, and because of the diverse dimensions of the mind of others in this world, ‘friction’ is also created within agreements and disagreements about what is ‘right’, and what is ‘wrong’ — …
Oct 10
Here I am doing self forgiveness for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from another within and as ‘attraction’ / being ‘attracted’ to them. Because within the very point of attraction, if one looks at the point self-honestly, it is a point of self believing that self does not have what the other person …
Oct 07
I had a dream on 10/7/2012 of me meeting this Indian girl of which we both started having feelings towards each other based on the conversation that we had. I don’t remember what the conversation was about, but what went into both of our minds in the dream was that we were choosing each other to be involved in …
Oct 04
Self-Commitments: I see, realize, and understand that when and as I fear that my mom will die, I am blaming her for not being there for me through my thoughts, imaginations, and back-chats about our son / mother relationship, and through my physical movements / reactions / behaviors that are so subtle that they may …
Oct 03
Link: https://www.mindmeister.com/209989504/i-love-my-mom I love my mom. What is the fear behind loving my mom? Fear of losing my mom. What will happen if I lose my mom? 3) Part of my past will be gone forever. What parts of my past will be gone? 3) The value of the development of my personality as a …
Oct 02
Link: https://www.mindmeister.com/209989504/i-love-my-mom I love my mom. What is the fear behind loving my mom? Fear of losing my mom. What will happen if I lose my mom? 3) Part of my past will be gone forever. What parts of my past will be gone? 2) The value of my childhood years growing up What are …
Oct 01
Link: https://www.mindmeister.com/209989504/i-love-my-mom I love my mom. What is the fear behind loving my mom? Fear of losing my mom. What will happen if I lose my mom? 3) Part of my past will be gone forever. What parts of my past will be gone? 2) The value of my childhood years growing up What are …
Sep 30
Link: https://www.mindmeister.com/209989504/i-love-my-mom I love my mom. What is the fear behind loving my mom? Fear of losing my mom. What will happen if I lose my mom? 3) Part of my past will be gone forever. What parts of my past will be gone? 2) The value of my childhood years growing up What are the …
Sep 27
Link: https://www.mindmeister.com/209989504/i-love-my-mom I love my mom. What is the fear behind loving my mom? Fear of losing my mom. What will happen if I lose my mom? 2) I will have to find out how my brothers will be taken care of. What will happen if I can’t find out how my brothers will be …
Sep 26
Within this blog series, I am doing something new. I am looking at my fears behind the ‘love’ for my mom. Here I am faced with self-honesty about what and how the ‘love’ for my mom is being ‘motivated’ within and as my life. So here I look at the fears that are the actual …
Sep 23
I see, realize, and understand that I was impulsed to have a look at the contents of what was in the article. When and as I see myself being impulsed to look at something, I stop; I breathe, and have a look at the trigger-point for and as such a ‘reaction’ of and as being impulsed. I see, realize, …
Sep 22
In this post, I am going to talk about how I created, within myself, the participation within and as supporting ‘manliness’ in my world and reality through self-forgiveness. Childhood: I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself, when and as I was a child, react when two boys asked me to spell “I Cup” in the …
Sep 20
Here I am doing self-forgiveness — having a look at the points within and as this article, and the relationships with what has been created through and within ‘masculinity’ / ‘manliness’. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘manliness’ to having ‘facial hair’. In addition, I forgive myself that …
Sep 16
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use a long day at work to be a justification of why I don’t have to take self-responsibility within the rest of my day — to believe that since I had a long day at work — that I can simply relax, and remain …
Sep 15
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to trust someone else’s mind to do a task that seems superficially ‘okay’, but not investigating all parts of the decision – in equality and oneness ‘here’ — as who I am in relation to the particular-specific thoughts in my mind. I see, realize, and understand that me, as my own mind, is not …
Sep 14
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to — throughout the day, make my breathing ‘more-than’ my thoughts — meaning that instead of simply breathing — existing ‘here’ in and as the moment, I convoluted the moment into and as submission of the mind, and thus, whatever my mind thinks…. feels…. is …
Sep 13
On September 13th, I decided to watch the movie “The Vow” about a lady that loses her memory, and thus, do not remember her husband / present life, but remembers her past more clearly before the phase of meeting her husband. When and as watching this movie, there were energetics within me that I have …
Sep 10
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to — after listening to: “Life Review – A Doomsday Activist” — leave the car to proceed to work but not realize, until I walked down the stairs, that I had an extra coat in my arms — which was the coat that I was …
Sep 09
This entry is part 15 of 18 in the series Fear of Being a Man Initially, the reason that I bought clothes that were designed for the opposite sex is because of competition. I was trying to ‘equalize’ myself with the opposite sex by changing my physical attire, behavior, and mannerisms to try to ‘match’ …
Sep 08
I see, realize, and understand that my motivation for projecting myself into a future was through and as a memory of me — when I was in my mom’s car praying, and I asked God to send me an angel down so I can see how an angel looks like. In that moment, I was …
Sep 07
I commit myself to see, realize, and understand that I am not equal and one with and as my breath when I create a relationship about breath / breathing. I thus, exist in polarity friction / conflict within either a superiority point or an inferiority point. In this case, I am existing in an …
Sep 06
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that being aware of my breath is like a religion because I connected religion to breathing based on all of the spiritualteachings in the past that I studied that taught about the importance of breath, but I forgive myself that I have not …
Sep 05
This entry is part 14 of 18 in the series Fear of Being a Man And the way I did this initially was by going to the thrift store to buy some clothes that were designed for the opposite sex. I initially bought two velvet attires, as velvet reminded me of ‘water’ which I connected …
Sep 04
This entry is part 13 of 18 in the series Fear of Being a ManI forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the reason that I chose velvet to be one of the clothes that I would wear to experience how it would feel to wear the clothing of …
Sep 03
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to — when and as going about my day — miss a significant point which is me in and as who I am within what I do, but instead of being equal to and one with and as me ‘here’ within and as what …
Sep 02
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand who I am within all of the dynamics of thinking, as I perceive myself to be ‘pure’ within/as ‘thought’. I connect this ‘purity-characterization’ to and as the color ‘copper’ of which I connect the color ‘copper’ to and as …
