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English Ivy 1.2: Reaction Dimension

This entry is part 2 of 2 in the series English Ivy

Indian female nurseThis is a continuation of the blog English Ivy 1.1 -- where we cover the 'Reaction Dimension' with the rest of the dimensional structures.

Reaction Dimension:
Thought Dimension Energy-Relationship Self-Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, charge the thought of seeing the party that called me in a medical scrub with a positive-energy experience -- as I connected the medical scrubs to success, and thus, see the party that called me as more 'stable' than me because she is successful, and because she is a female -- based on the belief that females are 'more stable' than males, from the perspective of being gentle, yet assertive in their approach within and as being more 'relationship-oriented'. Thus connecting the scrubs to a sense that the party that called me is proficient in particular medical and healing techniques based on the knowledge and information that was learned in school -- as I connected the acquisition of that knowledge and information through a process of being humble within the approach of 'studying' and learning the knowledge and information with ease. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that most medical students and employees have a 'stability' within and as them (especially females) that is created from their relationships with words and memories being more quantumly integrated within them which, in turn, took them 'less memory' / experiences to understand, recognize, and formulate what it is that is is being seen, realized, and understood on a conscious level based on having a more 'alertness' in and as their physical body because of the stability of their external environment through and as the process of growing up -- which I connected to having a stable external environment to being exposed to more of an elite environment.

Imagination Dimension Energy Relationship Self-Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that 'freedom' can exist within compromising who I am for the sake of manipulating reality to exist in energy-experiences. In this case, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can be 'free' to exist as who I 'believe' I am through / within the mind based on the past, and how I formed and created 'energy-experiences' to the past with the party that called me on the phone, and thus, creating an 'energy experience' to and as imagining my agreement partner being 'absent' from the particular-specific moment so that I can replicate positive-energy experiences from the past when and as I was physically with the female friend / the party on the phone that called me, as I, within that moment imagined myself being with her and a couple of other friends at a college in the past -- as we were joking around and having a 'good time', and thus, wanting to bring this moment back 'here' -- instead of taking self-responsibility within the moment to look beyond the 'beauty' of it, and see how we are in-fact existing on a mind-level.

Back-chat Dimension Energy-Relationship Self-Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, within the back-chat of "Oh man, I can't talk to my female friend of mine like I want to because my agreement partner is with me.", I accepted and allowed myself to empower this particular back-chat, from the perspective of making it 'influential' / 'real' within my world and reality because of the particular thought and imaginative energy-relationships that I connected to it along with connecting the party on the other line to being a 'charmer' (seducer) based on her ethnicity as Indian. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself , within this, charge the experience even more with 'desire' through and as taking my desire to be Indian, and amalgamate this energy-experience to my past experiences with the female friend that called me -- believing that if I have sex with her, within my lifetime, that I will be accepted by the entire Indian race, and in addition I will fulfill my desire to be Indian -- which firstly came from a memory within me when and as I was a child and seeing myself in that memory as a race that resembled the Indian race. Therefore within this, I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to manifest these energy-relationships in the form of a back-chat of anger, fear, and frustration -- angry that I cannot be the 'mind' within the particular experience, fearing to be self-honest based on the fact that she might 'react' and not like me anymore, and frustrated about being angry and fearful -- not seeing, realizing, and understanding that I am existing within these relationships -- not because of an external influence, but because of my acceptances and allowances to be limited to these particular relationship-patterns.

Reaction Dimension Self-Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within 'reaction' wherein I validate who I am as the mind within and as participating and defining myself within and as the 'energy relationships' of thought, imagination, and back-chat -- making these dimensions 'real' within and as me, as I accept and allow these dimensions to mold and shape me within and as reacting to my female friend on the phone -- rather than seeing myself as an 'equal' with her. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create relationships based on 'compromise' -- wherein I compromise myself to keep the relationship, on a superficial level, stable -- and never seeing, realizing, and understanding the dynamics of friction and conflict that are being played out, and suppressed on levels that I do not want to take responsibility to become aware of, and so within this, desiring to remain on a level of awareness that I am comfortable of, and not wanting to see, realize, and understand who I really am -- as what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become -- because I made my reactions, within reacting to my female friend on the other line, the 'driving force' of the entire experience, instead of me directing the experience in equality and oneness.

Series Navigation<< English Ivy 1.1
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