I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, charge the thought of seeing the party that called me in a medical scrub with a positive-energy experience -- as I connected the medical scrubs to success, and thus, see the party that called me as more 'stable' than me because she is successful, and because she is a female -- based on the belief that females are 'more stable' than males, from the perspective of being gentle, yet assertive in their approach within and as being more 'relationship-oriented'. Thus connecting the scrubs to a sense that the party that called me is proficient in particular medical and healing techniques based on the knowledge and information that was learned in school -- as I connected the acquisition of that knowledge and information through a process of being humble within the approach of 'studying' and learning the knowledge and information with ease. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that most medical students and employees have a 'stability' within and as them (especially females) that is created from their relationships with words and memories being more quantumly integrated within them which, in turn, took them 'less memory' / experiences to understand, recognize, and formulate what it is that is is being seen, realized, and understood on a conscious level based on having a more 'alertness' in and as their physical body because of the stability of their external environment through and as the process of growing up -- which I connected to having a stable external environment to being exposed to more of an elite environment.
Imagination Dimension Energy Relationship Self-Forgiveness:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that 'freedom' can exist within compromising who I am for the sake of manipulating reality to exist in energy-experiences. In this case, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can be 'free' to exist as who I 'believe' I am through / within the mind based on the past, and how I formed and created 'energy-experiences' to the past with the party that called me on the phone, and thus, creating an 'energy experience' to and as imagining my agreement partner being 'absent' from the particular-specific moment so that I can replicate positive-energy experiences from the past when and as I was physically with the female friend / the party on the phone that called me, as I, within that moment imagined myself being with her and a couple of other friends at a college in the past -- as we were joking around and having a 'good time', and thus, wanting to bring this moment back 'here' -- instead of taking self-responsibility within the moment to look beyond the 'beauty' of it, and see how we are in-fact existing on a mind-level.
Back-chat Dimension Energy-Relationship Self-Forgiveness:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, within the back-chat of "Oh man, I can't talk to my female friend of mine like I want to because my agreement partner is with me.", I accepted and allowed myself to empower this particular back-chat, from the perspective of making it 'influential' / 'real' within my world and reality because of the particular thought and imaginative energy-relationships that I connected to it along with connecting the party on the other line to being a 'charmer' (seducer) based on her ethnicity as Indian. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself , within this, charge the experience even more with 'desire' through and as taking my desire to be Indian, and amalgamate this energy-experience to my past experiences with the female friend that called me -- believing that if I have sex with her, within my lifetime, that I will be accepted by the entire Indian race, and in addition I will fulfill my desire to be Indian -- which firstly came from a memory within me when and as I was a child and seeing myself in that memory as a race that resembled the Indian race. Therefore within this, I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to manifest these energy-relationships in the form of a back-chat of anger, fear, and frustration -- angry that I cannot be the 'mind' within the particular experience, fearing to be self-honest based on the fact that she might 'react' and not like me anymore, and frustrated about being angry and fearful -- not seeing, realizing, and understanding that I am existing within these relationships -- not because of an external influence, but because of my acceptances and allowances to be limited to these particular relationship-patterns.
Reaction Dimension Self-Forgiveness:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within 'reaction' wherein I validate who I am as the mind within and as participating and defining myself within and as the 'energy relationships' of thought, imagination, and back-chat -- making these dimensions 'real' within and as me, as I accept and allow these dimensions to mold and shape me within and as reacting to my female friend on the phone -- rather than seeing myself as an 'equal' with her. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create relationships based on 'compromise' -- wherein I compromise myself to keep the relationship, on a superficial level, stable -- and never seeing, realizing, and understanding the dynamics of friction and conflict that are being played out, and suppressed on levels that I do not want to take responsibility to become aware of, and so within this, desiring to remain on a level of awareness that I am comfortable of, and not wanting to see, realize, and understand who I really am -- as what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become -- because I made my reactions, within reacting to my female friend on the other line, the 'driving force' of the entire experience, instead of me directing the experience in equality and oneness.